Part 1. The basics. Statistics: the life of the party -- Lions, and tigers, and . . . bigfoot? Oh, my: how questionable data can screw up an otherwise perfectly good statistical analysis -- Asteroid belts and spandex cars: using descriptive statistics to answer your most weighty questions -- Baseball, game shows, and sidekicks: who cares about probability anyway? -- What it's like to be normal: probability distributions and one rule that could make you wildly popular -- Part 2. What a few estimates and a little probability can do for you. Men are insensitive and women are illogical. Really: asserting your stereotypes with confidence -- Godzilla versus King Kong: how hypothesis tests can be used to settle the battle of the movie monsters -- Lab rats and roommates: analysis of variance and how to channel your inner mad scientist -- When the zombie flu went viral: regressing the myth out of urban myths