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DIRECTORY OF IOWA COUNTY

next, Hi, to tell us what is what about
the hens that them thieves got?
Senator Hiram Cornborer-Annie knows
somethin'.
(Annie takes the witness chair and
from her basket takes a peculiarly marked
hen-then waits ready to answer ques-
tions.)
"Slipme" Slick-I object--one chicken
in the witness stand at a time is enough.
(Slim  steps over and squares off at
"Slipme" and Justice Lazy Farmer beats
on the bench with his gavel. Spud pushes
Slim back to place and threatens "Slipme"
Slick as he goes back to his place. Order
is restored.)
Senator Hiram Cornborer-Tell us what
you know, Annie, in your own way, but
first, what is your occupation?
Annie-Mostly baking pies for Penny
Pincher's two  hired men, Slim    (she
glances affectionately at Slim-then turns
to Spud) and Spud-I work there.
Senator Hiram Cornborer-What about
this old hen?
Annie-She is one of the 62 those fel-
lows stole from us. She's how I could
tell the bunch. You see, Old Speckle,
here (Annie pets the old hen) I'd know
her any day. She's the pet.
One-eyed Pete-I tole youse guys not
to take no speckled hens. They're a dead
give away every time.
Jerry the Gun-How's a guy agoin' to
tell when a henhouse's as black as the
inside of a coffin?
Jim, the Gyp-Lay off talkin' about
coffins-
(Spud slaps them over the head and
order is restored.)
Senator Hiram Cornborer-I'm through
with Annie.
"Slipme" Sltck-I pass her up-anyone
would.
(Slim jumps across the room and half
chokes "Slipme" before Spud can pry him
loose. Slim then escorts Annie to her
chair and returns to his post at right of
the Judge's bench.)
Justice Lazy Farmer-Well, Hi, you've
won your case most handy, but I reckon
you'd better swear Mirandy-if she don't
get her chance, by gee, she'll never bake
no pies for me.
Mirindy-Just leave me out, Hi, get
done with this quick. They won't be no
livin' with Lazy unless he gets in some
fishin' today.
Senator Hiram Cornborer-Hank Wil-
son-take the the stand.
(Hank Wilson takes the witness chair.)
Senator Hiram CornborerI-Hank, what
do you k~now about these chicken thieves?
Hank Wilson-These thieves stole Pen-
ny Pincher's hens and three ducks. Them
fellers are the lowest down, meanest,

sneakin', miserable pups-stealin' chick-
ens at night when honest folks is asleep.
Slim-(aside) Penny's honest, but gosh,
lie's tight.
Hank Wilson-An' they should a-been
shot. Kin you sentence them to be hung,
Lazy?
"Slipme" Slick-I object to the tesi-
mony as improper, irrelevant, and-
Senator Hiram Cornborer-I'm through
with the witness.
"Slipme" Slick-I pass him up.
One-eyed Pete-When I git done with
this stretch, I'm goin' to be a gyp lawyer.
Chicken stealin' is like breakin' rocks
'long side of the way he gits his'n.
(Hank Wilson leaves the stand. Just-
ice Lazy Farmer sentences the prisoners.)
Justice Lazy Farmer-I tell you that
I'd like, by heck, to hang them fellers by
the neck. Chicken thieves is the meanest
kind, a-shootin' them  from  the behind
would be a sentence much too mild. Los-
in' chickens makes my neighbors wild,
but the best that I can do, it's clear, is
give each one 'bout 14 year a'breakin'
rocks up at the prison for takin' hens that
ain't his'n. Slim, you and Spud git your
old Liz and rush 'em up where the pen is.
and all you folks can go back home, but
as for me, I'm goin' to roam, down to the
crick, I'm a fish charmer, and John, you
write a piece for PRAIRIE FARMER.
I        Professional Directory
Charlton H. James  George J. Larkin
JAMES & LARKIN
Attorneys and Counselors
Parry Building
DODGEVILLE,         WISCONSIN
Phone 284
CLARENCE H. KNUDSON
ATTORNEY-AT- LAW
Strong's Bank Building
DODGEVILLE,         WISCONSIN
Telephone 142

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