OUR SORTEST STORY CONTEST
I I\  with insisting on running eerbodss middle name, and other clever shifts, we
h;d just enough copy to fill the Badger when smeone went and lost ILrov Hurlingame s
-ummary, and now we have to write ahut three thousand column inches of dope to fill
in the gap. We fee hopeful. like the sky-rcket editor when he is looking for jokes in his old
stundhys- the World Almanac, or the \orthwestern Undertaker s Review.
But, unlike him, we have an idea.
\Wh not have a Shortest Story contest

Contestant I
Candidate for B. S. works eight months
on thesis -Lniversal Solvent.   Flunks be-
cause he cannot find a container that will
not dissolke and let the iuice run away.
Contestant //
Sigma Phi pledge dreams that he is wan-
dering up State street dressed in nothing but
his pledge pin.  Wakes to find that it is
true.
Contestant II/
Dad Grosser runs for Class President.
Gets two votes. Is arrested for repeating.
Contestant 1I
Frosh, fearing flunk, calls up his beauti-
ful Spanish teacher to ask her for a date.
Ier husband answers the phone

Contestant V
W'. C. T. U. president from ip state hails
affluent looking taxi. She climbs aboard,
and discovers that it is the stew-wagon
headed for Middleton.
Contestant I
Young professor offers to lend pretty co-ed
his lecture notes   By mistake gives her
his lose letters instead.
Contestant 1
1elts pursue likely looking chap five
blocks. Pledge him, and find that he is a
parson.
Confestunt 1 III
Two measuring worms start racing down
fair co-ed's skirt. Come to end three feet
before they expect it.   Fall off and break
their necks.

A PARABLE OF NUTS

'And I
onto Wisc
a     top w hich
i spot \ h
tie

low, and behold em, there wished itself
onsin an Easterner: and he had a learned
performed the function of affording
ereupon a lid might rest and he could
gtliy uote yards from
And it came to pass
that his quoting flattened
before most, and   he
pulled his stakes and
beat it. And they called
it \lcNutt.
A.1,

AL-                                                   "~ A~And in the course
(I days he writ for pa-
persanJ pipers and in his snect mhlitude of imaginings he drew a picture of the
Uniscrsity of Wisconsin.
And the press laughed with B. L..   And\ladisonTentandAwningcom-
pany donated a canvas figure, and Standard Oil presented kerosene. And there
was a fire.
But, say we.
Glory us, glory us,
For it don't get by any more with us,
\nd the next time it's tried, well raise an awful fuss,
\nd well crown em on the crust with a stone.

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